Mt Lawley Counselling Centre, Perth - Western AustraliaMt Lawley Counselling Centre, Perth - Western Australia

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Separation

Elyse Frankel

Clinical Psychologist
Perth, Western Australia

When a relationship ends, it is painful for both people. Separation is a traumatic life event, and can lead to a range of feelings, such as:

  • denial
  • loss
  • anger
  • grief
  • guilt
  • fear
  • abandonment
  • hurt
  • loneliness
  • rejection
  • loss of trust
  • loss of self esteem

The pain you feel when a relationship ends can be similar to the grief experienced when a loved one dies. It is normal to grieve - but the feelings of despair and hopelessness will not last forever. It is only by grappling with the feeling that your life is over that you can begin to rebuild. This can be the beginning of a time of personal growth.

When someone we love rejects us, we often turn the anger we feel toward that person against ourselves, and blame ourselves for the loss. This can lead to extreme self doubt and self recrimination. It can feel like we have lost who we are- our self- since every belief about our self is trampled on. The belief that we are loving and lovable, that we make good choices, and that we can trust our heart.

It can be terrifying to contemplate the thought of living alone after many years of being with another. It can be hard work to manage the practicalities of being a single parent who to also help children cope emotionally with the impact that the separation has on them.

While it is a difficult process, you can get support from others. Having hope and faith that you are not alone, can be a reassurance.

If you would like more information, contact Elyse Frankel on 0414 764 663.

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